So life has been pretty crazy… despite being down here almost 2 months now – how time has flown – I still am not feeling totally settled in. I’m sure that this is in part because of how this semester has started off… the first month was insane, lots of things to do… lots expected of me, which I managed, didn’t miss a single assignment, but at the same time, it just about drove me insane. I’ve been extremely homesick, which really isn’t going away, but I’m getting better at hiding it. I know I really shouldn’t, but at the same time, I can’t really stop myself from doing it now.
The first month was a lot of insanity with my roommate and her issues, and having to help her get around and going to doctor’s visits, but at least she’s now gotten medical attention, so that’s a good thing at least. But that’s just touching the surface.
I’ve been living in a bedroom by myself since she got admitted to the hospital and will have a room to myself for about 2 more weeks, she comes home on the 30th… it’ll be interesting to see how all that plays out because I REFUSE to be put in that position again, and I feel like if more is asked of me than I signed up for – which was NONE of this… I am going to snap. And it’s not going to be pretty. I’ve been told by people that I shouldn’t be talking about all that is going on because it should be up to her about who knows and all that, but honestly, there is no way that I can go through all of this – it has been rough on me as well – and not talk about it. It’s not like I’m giving away any super personal details. Just the basics. I need people to stop telling me what I am and am not allowed to do, because they don’t know me. It’s all just so overwhelming. It has gotten better, thankfully, but I am still stressed.
I had this major project for my ASL 5 (Deaf 300) class that I had last week, and with all the stress relating that (Take over the full class — 2 hours and 45 minutes — and teach it, only in sign, with your group – we had 4, with activities, and all that… can you say stressful??) … basically I managed to stress myself sick. I’m definitely feeling better now, not back to 100% but definitely better than last week… blah, not fun at all!
I do know that as much as I do love the program and the atmosphere down here, if I knew that there would me this much asked of me because of things that no one really saw coming, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to come down here. I am just so far from home, and at times I don’t know fully how to do this.
I guess, just going on one day at a time for now is the best way to go about this, right? It’s how I’m doing this. As I write this, I’m going over in my head what is expected of me this coming few weeks. I have a few big projects (well mainly just one, but my group, which is meeting today, is starting to bother me as we seem to have a pretty flaky group, and one person hasn’t even gotten back to us if they can get together today, don’t think she likes that we have to meet so late, but that was the ONLY time that worked for all of us… blah! >.< Oh, I don’t like group projects, but they’re required of us, and there’s no getting out of it… darn!), annotated bibliography, part of my term paper for my queer studies class (due next Thursday if I read the syllabus right) and I really need to get started on that. (The annotated Bib, and paper are both for the Queer Studies class). And readings for my Deaf Culture class, as well as filming a video journal for my ASL 5 class. Now that I write it down… yeah, definitely taking this one day at a time. One piece at a time.
I do apologize that this really isn’t as organized as I had liked. It is more how my thoughts are coming and I don’t really have the time to go back and edit. But yeah, just a bit into the life of me down here. And sorry that I’ve taken so long to get an update up here. I will do what I can to get an update up sooner, but no guarantees given how crazy my life can get.
Oh, also, I find it – as a girl who’s grown up in Northern California and is used to the Northern California Seasons, that Southern California weather is boringly predictable. It’s normally in the high 70’s to low 80’s with a breeze… for most of the time down here. I could probably wear my summer dresses that I have down here with me and not be cold… and it’s October. This isn’t right. Haha! I’m still also getting used to the number of palm trees. Oh, the little things that make me laugh.
Hope that you all are doing well!